My son, Ian, was sick when he was born. It took a year to figure out why he couldn't breathe. It was a very trepiditious year. No one knew if he would survive. No one knew what was wrong with him. He just continued to thrive.
After his first birthday he was big enough for his bronchoscopy. Trachea and Bronchial Malacia. A weakness in the cartilage in the airway. Very mild case.
Still scary.
Every cold necessitated a hospital visit, hard-core antibiotics, and worry. We weren't sure if he would survive.
We made a game plan. What were our wishes? What would we do if...?
We never imagined that he would have an accident. We presumed if he died, it would be due to his condition. He was doing so great after his last surgery. He was growing, gaining weight, getting more stamina, keeping up with the other kids.
When we realized he was brain dead, it wasn't his decision, but ours. Our ONLY hope. We wanted as many organs to be donated as possible. I like to say to people who ccommed our decision, that it was our one SELFISH decision. It was what WE wanted.
Who knew how complicated organ donation is? There are different types of donation:
1) Live Donation = heart, lungs, liver, kidneys, pancreas, and corneas
2) After Death Donation = Within 5 minutes of expiration. Liver, kidneys, pancreas, corneas
We wanted the best outcome for others. We wanted him to save as many people as possible. Even if that meant he would be wheeled off to a operating room. Leaving us.
Brain death is also complicated in legal terms. Brain death must show lack of blood flow to the brain. Ian was tested twice for this. Both times he had blood flow. That didn't change his prognosis... It just meant it was more complicated to donate.
We had to make the decision. It wasn't the doctors. It wasn't the legal system. It was Chris and ME.
I never thought that it would be an issue, making medical decisions. I felt that it was really MY choice. Not everyone felt that way. Everyone has an opinion. Everyone has emotions. Many people inserted themselves into what Chris and I felt was a private decision. The most important important decision of our life.
We chose to disconnect his life support.
We were with him when he died. I still feel that it was one of the most important things I could have done. Bear witness to his death. It was horrible.
That night they harvested his two little kidneys, HUGE liver, and 4 heart valves. Everything looked healthy to the doctors and nurses. Hope...
The decision or question "Are you an organ donor" has nothing to do with you. It is not your decision. It is your loved one's decision. It is your wife, mother, ffather, children's decision. Not yours.
What is most important is that the conversation HAPPENS. You must talk to your family about your wishes. You must have someone you trust in charge of your medical decisions. You must speak with your spouse about the worse case scenario, so these decisions are not made under pressure.
I am so proud of what we did and the success of our decision.
Ian's liver recipient decided to write to me on Christmas 2012. I received the letter in February 2013. I cried. I celebrated. I cried again. I hold hope that his other organs are also helping others. He didn't die and go away. He saved others. What a blessing.
<<<<<<<<My Baby is in there!!!!
One year later! Success!!!>>>>>>
What a blessing! He continues to be here with us and to know he saved another person. Wow how cool is that. I became an organ donor shortly after Ian's accident and plan to have the talk with my family. Thank you.
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